This post was originally called ‘Shit I wish I could stop doing’ but I thought better of it. This is a list of mistakes I seem to keep making. Again and again and again. Sometimes despite being aware that it is an issue!
- Self awareness isn’t instinct. Not everybody analyses their thoughts and behaviors. For me to assume everybody knows why they are doing what they are doing is a recipe for trouble.
- Test, prepare, have a run through. Don’t use a new recipe for an important occasion. If you must use a new recipe then test it first or have enough ingredients for a second run if the first needs serious tweaking (if icing can’t hide the atrocity).
- I should not have to apologise for who I am. No explanation necessary, lets just say that again. I should not have to apologise for who I am.
- Make an end date. Whatever the arrangement, build in an end date or at least a review date. We get comfortable with discomfort rather quickly, an opportunity, and impetus, to re-assess is important.
- If it needs to be said, say it. Holding back for fear of hurting someone else, will probably hurt you. Say it with love and not anger, but say it. The compassionate thing to yourself (and the other in the long run) is to speak up.
- Guilt serves no-one. Least of all you. Guilt arises in 2 situations; 1) you have done something you don’t agree with. This is simple to rectify – apologise and make amends. 2) you are taking responsibility for somebody’s feelings (hurt, anger). The answer here is get over it! You are never responsible for how another feels. That is their shit, let them deal with it.
- Downtime isn’t optional. Balance reigns supreme. Not necessarily on a daily basis, but in the long run you either rest as hard as you work, or you will be forced to stop by something beyond yourself.
What do you wish you had learned already?
