This is a very interesting topic for me, predominately because it is just so loaded. Nobody wants to be called, let alone ‘made’, a victim. Yet so many of us cling to our victim-hood.

I can see why we cling to our victim identity. Here are a few usual suspects;

• It’s easier to be a victim than to take responsibility.
• We don’t know how to do something different.
• Its safer to be a victim. We can’t fail at it.
• Better the devil you know; being a victim of something else could be worse.
• It’s a great excuse not to achieve what you want.
• We think moving on or taking responsibility gives the perpetrator a free pass.

Victim means powerless, effected by outside circumstances. Whilst it is true that we may be a victim on the initial event [read crime, retrenchment, breakup, discrimination, stock market falls, even traffic jams] that’s where the authentic victim-hood ends. There is no rule dictating that we must remain a victim days, weeks or months later.

I don’t mean to sound harsh. I am not without empathy and experience in this arena. I spent two years hiding the pain and physical scars of an assault, before I had the courage to talk and to heal. Whilst healing takes time, unless you are merely a victim of a traffic jam, the moment you make the decision (to heal) you are no longer a victim.

What you were a victim of does not define who you are. Your reactions to such situations do. How long must we perpetuate the event in our minds? When will we realise that continuing with our victim status only hurts us, often more than the initial event did? Become the survivor, star, diva, entrepeneur, beauty, healer, director, leading-lady of your life and ditch the victim.

What have you triumphed over?