Posts Tagged ‘Feedback’

Fail Often

Sunday, April 5th, 2009

Most of us have a fear of failure. Software failures. Failed relationships. Failure to thrive. Failing tests. Failing to get the job. Failing to make the sale. Failing to pick up.  I have known people (hmmm some friend – not me) who has had tantrums when the laptop fails to connect to the network.  ‘Epic fail’ is even a put down these days.

So why would anyone ever give advice to ‘Fail quickly and fail often’? I dare you to google the phrase. You will get results from Professors, Marketing Gurus like Seth Godin and HarvardBusiness.org. So what do they know that we don’t?

Nothing.

They do however have a different perspective.  They are focused on learning. They accept that failing is a natural part of the learning process. They are far less attached to the stigma and embarrassment of failure, less interested in keeping face.  They realise that not acting, or playing it safe (thus remaining stagnant) is far worse than making a few mistakes en route to the next epiphany. re

So how do we apply the thinking of the world’s top strategists (not the ones responsible for the global credit crisis I promise) to our daily lives? Ask for Honest Feedback if its not working let it go or change it. Take action; if in doubt do something, anything, just don’t allow yourself to remain stagnant by default.

Even Michael Jordan fails a lot.

About Feedback

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

You are your own worst critic.

For most everybody I know this cliché holds true. We hone in on the slightest flaw, in something otherwise exceptional, and blow it totally out of proportion. Some of us, I know I have been guilty of this, imagine potential feedback to be something totally horrifying that would support our belief that we are crap.

Why then are so many of us terrified of feedback? Could honest feedback possibly any worse that the tirade of abusive thoughts you have about yourself? Those around us are infinitely more compassionate and reasonable than we are when evaluating our performance. While we obsess that we sound too pushy, look too dressy, make no sense, generally aren’t good enough those around us are oblivious to our torturous thoughts. They usually are too busy wrestling with their own inner critic to give you a second thought.

Most of us think of surveys, KPI meetings, arguments and “does my bum look big in this?” when we think of feedback but it doesn’t have to be this way. Asking for real meaningful feedback and being prepared to listen to the answers is a liberating experience. Just this week I elicited feedback from close friends about some business plans and a client about my coaching sessions. I sweated blood waiting for their responses and literally danced a happy dance around the living room when the responses came back.

I want you to do a happy dance too. Here are some simple ways of recalibrating your inner critic and getting real feedback:

1. Asking girlfriends to take a look at your resume
2. Asking your partner/best friend to tell you which outfit they think flatters you most
3. Ask a client for a testimonial
4. Ask a colleague what you do best
5. Ask your boss what skill you could develop to position you for a promotion
6. Ask a friend how they would describe you in 3 words (I guarantee you they wont say Failure, Loser, Worthless or big-fat-loser)