Compassion & Listening
The very definition of compassion is a deep sense of sadness and sympathy with the accompanying desire to take action.
For most of us compassion is an action. It is doing something for someone. Sometimes we get so caught up in the doing (and our good intentions) that we forget the listening and the asking.
My children demonstrate this most clearly to me. When I hear a cry of pain I immediately move to cuddle, kiss, pacify. I don’t stop to consider that the child actually wants or needs. I assume that I have the answer to their unarticulated problem. More often than not my 3 year old says “Mum I don’t need cuddles. I need you to…” in his case chocolate is usually the answer.
Without stopping to ask permission to help, or listening intently to how we can best serve, our compassion becomes an act of ego.
2 comments
Hi Rachael, For me compassion is helped by remembering when I was a small gentle boy being angry with a friend, but wanting to make up because I like my friend more than I cared for the reason we were fighting. It helps me to remember that to like a person holds the key to compassion and forgiveness.
Paul
Thanks for the insight into your practice of compassion Paul. For me, I struggle mostly extending compassionate thoughts to those I don’t especially like. For example, those spreading hate on the Internet. I don’t know them well enough to know their redeeming qualities or their motivations and engaging with them based on my dislike of their actions/sentiments will only result in more hate. All I can think of to do is to remember we all do the best with what we have got at the time and that it takes all types to make the globe. Any thoughts?