The Highwire Archives
Weekend Meditation – Questioning
What not to say over the ‘morning tea’ table at a Baptist-run play group: Our play group is a combination of women of the Baptist congregation and local (mostly secular) women. For the most part the play group is non-religious, but there are small clues as to the pastoral background of the group. Signs on the toilet doors to ask that we make a special effort to take care of the house of God. Children’s bible stories mixed in with the picture books. Singing grace before we eat our morning tea. We didn’t sing grace last...
read moreBig Scary Adult Stuff
I clearly remember coining that phrase when I was 20. Big. Scary. Adult stuff. I was faced with the prospect of letting myself truly love for the first time, and I was shitting myself. There was definitely something between us – but nothing like I had felt for boyfriends before. We danced around it. We let it fester. We de-constructed it brick by brick and hurled them at each other – me out of fear and him out of frustration – we were on target and we drew blood. When he put it to me – we try this time or I’m...
read morePreparation
The universe has a beautiful way of preparing me for what comes next. An art so beautiful, organic and simple that I miss the clues if I am not paying enough attention. I have a good idea of what is coming next. I have been pregnant before. I can expect in the next 6 months to be more and more at the mercy of my body as she does what she must to create life. I serve my body as best I can and she goes about the most amazing miracle ever witnessed on earth. For the following 6 months after that I can expect to be at the beck and call of a...
read moreLemon Tea for the Soul
Ignore the part of you that needs nurturing and you will grind to a halt. Listening is hard, harder than it needs to be. There is so much white noise in our lives, it takes effort to hear through the static. If we don't listen carefully, intentionally, regularly the message gets louder. Louder; more painful, more urgent, more frantic. The dial is turned up. And up. And up. Until we act. Until the message us undeniable (and your options are few).
read moreCompeting for my heart
I am a bit of a foodie. I have been accused of channeling Martha Stewart more than once. On one famous occasion I had a complex concussion (knocked myself out cold on the kitchen tiles) and stupidly decided I needed to bake an apple pie from scratch in the 30 minutes before my guests would arrive. The party was a success, nobody noticed my slightly swollen brain and the pie was delicious! So it won’t surprise you that I have coveted a Kitchen Aid Stand mixer for, like, ever. And I had to combine my 25th Birthday Present and my First-Ever...
read moreCravings
Before I was pregnant I had cravings. The normal cravings every woman (and some blokes) get. Ice cream, chocolate, Japanese food, pizza. Usually after a bad day, a blood sugar low or a hormone spike/crash. Often these cravings were a thinly veiled justification to eat something sugary or fatty. These are not cravings. These are little mental stories we tell ourselves about what it is we want to eat and why. I.e. I need a bag of jelly beans. I crave them when I am studying. Or We are eating pizza for dinner, I have been craving that fantastic...
read moreTurbulance
When I catch up with people I havent seen in a while they inevitably end up asking a few of the same questions; How are you feeling? Is it [the morning sickness] as bad as last time? When do you find out what sex the baby is? (Everybody knows I hate surprises!) How was Cairns? How did Cooper go on the plane? The first 4 answers are stock standard. Crap. No. About 21 weeks. Great! The last one makes me smile every time. Cooper was great, terrible, trying and adorable on the plane. He was polite to the air hostesses. He was as quiet as a 2...
read moreSpecial permission
I often get warned that a lot of the angst I experience is because I expect too much of people. There is a largely unspoken societal rule that says ‘Don’t expect a lot from others.’ I have seen blog posts dedicated to this exact topic. How much should we expect from friends? How much should you expect from wedding guests, or the guests from the couple? How much is it reasonable to expect grandparents to help with child care? Everybody has a different agenda. Everybody has competing priorities. Everybody has a schedule that is...
read moreMum Fail, Again
My two-year-old has changed tremendously in recent months. So much so I am honestly struggling to keep up with him. I am ok with him using words I can’t remember using in front of him. I can cope with him putting 2 and 2 together. I even think it is adorable that he has begun to give me orders like ‘I think you need a shower Mummy. It will make you feel better. Go on, do it now.‘ And how he directs me to eat even when ‘morning sickness’ is telling me the opposite ‘It’s dinner time Mum. You should eat...
read moreWhiplash!
How the hell did I get here? 6 weeks ago I had mental permission not to do any planning. I was relishing the release from engaging in the endless quest to ‘do something’. Instead I was doing what was right in front of me. Aaaah, the path of least resistance, how I love thee. I spent 6 weeks following my heart. It turns out my heart is a bleeding heart. A bleeding heart that feels compelled to care for those around her regardless of the inconvenience. So in 6 weeks I have gone from resting, plan-free not working towards anything but a...
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