Nothing can exist without its opposite

Batman needs, and wouldn’t exist without, villains like The Joker. Cold only has meaning if we understand it in relation to hot. The same goes for up and down. War cannot exist in a world that does not also include peace. Samsara and Nirvana (not the band) are inextricably linked. Every act of creation is first an act of destruction. Life – death – life.

What you want cannot exist in a world free of what you don’t want. It is a continuum. One pole cannot exist without its opposite.

The alchemy, the gold, amongst this otherwise dreary news is that you can only experience one pole at a time. Let me say that again. If you are experiencing Love, you cannot experience Hate at that moment. If you are experiencing Freedom, you cannot be experiencing Captivity. If you are experiencing Success, you cannot at that moment be experiencing Failure. Scientists have even proven that if you are experiencing Empathy you cannot be, in that moment, capable of Violence.

Don’t believe me. And please, ignore the science. This weekend when you are feeling rage at the toddler who will not sleep/listen muster empathy for their predicament and notice what changes. When you are judgmental, see what happens when you move to a place of compassion. Or, for shits and giggles, when you are joyously enjoying the sun and the relaxed pace of the weekend try to feel frustration and see if you succeed.

I would love to know how you go. xxx

Weekend Meditation – Questioning

What not to say over the ‘morning tea’ table at a Baptist-run play group:

Our play group is a combination of women of the Baptist congregation and local (mostly secular) women. For the most part the play group is non-religious, but there are small clues as to the pastoral background of the group. Signs on the toilet doors to ask that we make a special effort to take care of the house of God. Children’s bible stories mixed in with the picture books. Singing grace before we eat our morning tea.

We didn’t sing grace last week. Perhaps that is why I forgot where I was. Some of the mothers were discussing the recent difficulties they were having with their toddlers. Their children prefer to eat of other people’s plates. Not thinking I offered a theory I had read online; There is an evolutionary impetus for children eat off adult’s plates. It is an instinct left over from our evolution from cave people – the food the elders of the tribe ate was safe to eat.

The theory itself wasn’t the point. The point was that I take my belief in evolution for granted. So much so I offered it as an explanation to people who (from their reactions – no stereotyping) clearly weren’t as convinced as I by Darwin’s Theory.

My question to you is this:

What do you take for granted? What beliefs have you stopped questioning? Are the certainties in your life solid, or do they crumble like tissue paper when questioned?

Preparation

The universe has a beautiful way of preparing me for what comes next. An art so beautiful, organic and simple that I miss the clues if I am not paying enough attention.

I have a good idea of what is coming next. I have been pregnant before. I can expect in the next 6 months to be more and more at the mercy of my body as she does what she must to create life. I serve my body as best I can and she goes about the most amazing miracle ever witnessed on earth. For the following 6 months after that I can expect to be at the beck and call of a tiny, pure blob of divinity incarnate as a child. It is not what I am being prepared for that I am listening to. Its the how that has my attention.

I am being reminded to let go of the parts of my life that will not support me in the next 12 months. I am being gently corralled into the mindset of service. I am being asked to let go of my wants, and to follow my needs. I am being nudged, strings are being pulled, the unhelpful are being weeded. The process is slow, gradual, but by no means subtle.

Mother nature is thorough. Everything she does has a clear purpose, and I am content (in my enlightened moments) to accept that I may never understand her purpose for me. But I do understand what mother nature is doing now. The morning sickness is to take my focus from my mental sphere and bring me into my body. The lethargy is to curb my immediate ambitions, to force me to prioritise what I do. The insistent cold that lingers because it cannot be medicated safely is to remind me that the baby comes first. The weakened state of my body that hasn’t the reserves to build little organs and fight an infection is to force me to ask for help. The lost voice is to remind me to witness more and talk less; it is time to go within.

There are no mistakes. We may not know why all the levers are pulled when they are, but we can rest assured they create the perfect conditions to prepare us for what lies beyond.

Are you paying attention? What are you being asked to prepare for?

*image credit

Lemon Tea for the Soul

Weekend meditation: What in you yearns for nurturing?

I have found time and time again that listening is a good thing. The only smart thing to do.

• Listen to your body
• Listen to the whispering voice
• Listen to the yearning
• Listen to the craving
• Listen to the squeaky wheel
• Listen to the part that is asking for nurturing

Ignore your body and you will get sick. Ignore the whisper and you will be unfulfilled. Ignore the yearning and you will be miserable. Ignore the craving and you will be unsatisfied. Ignore the squeaky wheel and it may stop turning all together.

Ignore the part of you that needs nurturing and you will grind to a halt.

Listening is hard, harder than it needs to be. There is so much white noise in our lives, it takes effort to hear through the static. If we don’t listen carefully, intentionally, regularly the message gets louder. Louder; more painful, more urgent, more frantic. The dial is turned up. And up. And up. Until we act. Until the message us undeniable (and your options are few).

Listen to the whisper. Tend to the niggle. Soothe the ache. Oil the squeak.

*image credit

Whiplash!

How the hell did I get here? 6 weeks ago I had mental permission not to do any planning. I was relishing the release from engaging in the endless quest to ‘do something’. Instead I was doing what was right in front of me. Aaaah, the path of least resistance, how I love thee.

I spent 6 weeks following my heart. It turns out my heart is a bleeding heart. A bleeding heart that feels compelled to care for those around her regardless of the inconvenience. So in 6 weeks I have gone from resting, plan-free not working towards anything but a healthy pregnancy to having more balls in the air than I can count. Big balls.

The turn around has been so complete and quick I am suffering whiplash from the U-turn.

I am in the process of gestating a baby, figuring out how to best support a gifted toddler who is desperate to go to school, moving my grandmother from her home 2 hours away to a hostel in my area and comparing university degrees for me to start in the next few weeks. The silver lining is that I didn’t intellectually plan any of this.

Even for a control freak like me, the fact that each of these situations arose organically, without guilt or obligation, without pulling strings or orchestrating things is fantastic. To me it means I am still following my heart, doing what is in me to do. Doing what I, in the most real sense, must do. That is a definition of liberation. Loving because love is in me to give. Supporting because support and compassion is in me to give. That is a definition of Bhakti.

I have some friends, dear friends, who also believe it is a definition of burning the candle at both ends. A definition of insanity. My prayer, my meditation, is that if I follow the heart, unflinchingly, without reservation or fear, the universe will support me. I will have all I need to follow through with grace. Amen.

Mind-full

Mindful is an interesting word. We always have a mind-full. It is the nature of the mind to think, to jump from thought to thought.

The biggest gift, and the most fun, to be had in my meditation classes were always the debunking the myths session at the very beginning. Everybody was always so relieved to hear they didn’t have to stop their minds thinking to meditate. People used to laugh out loud when I said your mind will never stop thinking, it is a little playful monkey that jumps from thought to thought never letting go of one until it has a hold of the next. Such was the realisation that working against the mind was futile, indeed insane. Instead we would explore ways to work with the mind, to lure it, to train it, to observe it, to witness it, to harness it and to meet it half way.

I know the experience of preparing for meditation only to realise you are hungry, then realising you skipped lunch because work was crazy, then remembering ‘oh shit!’ I didn’t get to send that email before I left, oh and when I left did I turn my computer screen off? – I am always forgetting to do things like that, then I shouldn’t be too hard on myself all this negative self talk can’t be helpings things, things… things to do, crap am I out of milk? Maybe I should get milk on the way home,  maybe I’ll get up early and have breakfast at that little cafe next door to work, I really love that place, chai tea and raisin toast, my ipod and sunshine - almost like a little meditation. Meditation! Fuck! That is what I am supposed to be doing already…

We always have a mind-full. They key is being aware of what our mind is full of. And, as often as possible emptying the mind except for the thoughts we choose to focus on. The easiest thought to focus on, especially for beginners is;

I am breathing in. I am breathing out.

Whenever your mind wanders, like the cheeky monkey it is, simply return to the thought ‘I am breathing in. I am breathing out.’ Even minutes of this every day will make a difference. Don’t believe me. Please, don’t. I would prefer you try it over the weekend and see for yourself. xxx