Update

It has been 3 months since I have paid this blog the attention it deserves. To be honest it has been much longer than that, it has been 3 months since I gave this blog any attention at all.

My neglect is justified (in my head at least) by the insanely amazing things that have been happening around me, through me and mysteriously, inside of me. The important thing I am beginning to realise is that this blog is my personal place in the vastness that is the interwebs. It is like my electronic heart and it has just been shocked to life by virtual defibrillator. Though I have some wonderful things in my world, taking up my headspace and bursting from my heart; they are not me. I am me wether my life is full and exciting or not.

So what has been happening for the past three months?

1. My youngest baby has grown from 7 to 10 months. In that time he has begun to walk, talk and converse. Yes, that is an insane as it sounds and it has been a whirlwind to keep up with his development.
2. Dandelion Support Network was born and soft-launched. This organisation I founded with a dear friend to make a tangible difference in our local community. It makes me immeasurably happy to do this work.
3. I have become involved with Yoga Off The Mat (OTM). I will be doing my training in OTM at the end of this month. For those of you that know me personally, you will probably be laughing your butts off at the thought of me doing yoga (again). Though I began my yoga practice at 15 it has been more off than on in recent years. Though I have been assured that, though the training will challenge me, I will be fine.
4. I have been (slowly creating) my personal project for 2012 called Simple. Gentle. Kind. Though I am excited about it, and had planned on launching it, a few weeks ago, I have a feeling that it will launch in the middle of the year, perhaps around my birthday.

Thoughts count

It’s the thought that counts. Except when it doesn’t.
If thought is as far as it goes, sometimes that thought is downright torturous.

I knew it was crisis time when the baby was screaming at the breast and I had no compassion to give. All I had was the thought “just take the breast damnit!”. I can’t give what I haven’t got in me to give.

I needed some time to refill, to recoup.

Hubby took the baby and went for a walk. He hoped to give me time to regroup whilst he walked the baby to sleep. I intended to make he most of my brief window of peace. I ran a bath, lit candles, undressed and dipped my toe into the steaming water. Que my preschooler waking from a nightmare with a scream.

I soothed him gently. Though my mind was elsewhere, on body image to be honest, seeing as he rushed into my arms even before I found a robe. I attempted to indulge in my bath a second time 5 minutes later, before I gave up and let the water go cold and the candles burn down.

My luscious bath products swirled down the drain with discarded leg hair later that evening. Unable to waste the bath water, I had boiled the kettle to add some warmth and quickly shaved my legs. I’m nothing if not utilitarian.

The thought didn’t count, at least not towards returning my sanity. I am not rested, restored or regrouped. I thought about me time and all it achieved was giving me an opportunity to lament the time before children when I had to escape to a hotel for a bath, because all we had was a shower.

Sometimes, patience is more effective than ‘the thought’. Patience, perseverance and acceptance. Patience to wait, perseverance to not give up and acceptance that bathing alone (even a lowly shower) is out of the question.

Father’s Day

I have an amazing husband who is a wonderful father. He was an integral part of the birth of both his sons (he calls it catcher), has probably changed as many nappies as me and has endured as many sleepless nights. This, although uncommon, is not to me the most interesting thing about him as a father.

What fascinates me is that he, and men like him, are restoring something lost to masculinity. They still embody the masculine essence of action, equanimity and industry yet they interact in a new (or very very old) way. Instead of leading with fear and aggression as dictators they lead by example as mentors with integrity and nurturing.

From what I can see (and only preliminary research) this is the first time since tribal days that fathers have had such a prominent role in the upbringing and instruction of our children. My hope is that it breeds resilient, compassionate men that wield their might and power to build others up as opposed to tear them down.

Am I sitting on a goldmine?

There is something about children (or is it my children) that attracts people and invites conversation. I have had more random conversations with lovely men as a young mother than I ever did when I was single. And for those that know me personally, no, I am not breastfeeding at the time. Though, that wouldn’t preclude a chat.

Yesterday, waiting for a girlfriend to meet us for a lunch date two fire engines pulled up to the curb. Three year old eyes beside me nearly popped out of of their sockets. The Fireman were off duty and as they passed us to get their lunch, most of then stopped to say ‘hello’. A few of them ushered us over to the engine for a tour.

Let’s not rehash the cliches about men in uniform, ‘manly men’ and firemen. Instead I will stick with the facts; they were cute. Some of them *cough* Fireman Scott & Fireman Rob were more than cute. Actually they were handsome, warm, funny, muscular and good with children.

So, I think I have found a new market. I should hire out my boys to single ladies who could play ‘Auntie’ for an afternoon in the hopes of meeting some nice guys. Seriously though, have you had any similar experiences?

Do you think young mothers are more approachable because they send out a “taken” vibe? Do you think men secretly miss playing games with little boys? Or is it something else entirely? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Women make smarter groups

MIT has finally got some research that mirrors what we have known for a long time; The collective intelligence of a group increases as the number of female members increase. To a point of course.

So MIT can show it. Harvard is interested in it. And millions of women world wide are thinking ‘You needed formal experiments and research grants for that?!? Have they never been a working bee or summer BBQ?’

Jokes aside, it is encouraging to know that it is becoming scientific fact that women’s voices are valuable. We now have a study to point to when we say the world will change for the better when we have a more democratic, female driven conversation.