Mum Fail, Again

My two-year-old has changed tremendously in recent months. So much so I am honestly struggling to keep up with him. I am ok with him using words I can’t remember using in front of him. I can cope with him putting 2 and 2 together. I even think it is adorable that he has begun to give me orders like ‘I think you need a shower Mummy. It will make you feel better. Go on, do it now.‘ And how he directs me to eat even when ‘morning sickness’ is telling me the opposite ‘It’s dinner time Mum. You should eat now anyway.’

What drives me insane is that his little brain  is curious and clever. He decided the other day to take apart the vacuum cleaner. The day before that he tried to get into the belly of his toy screw-driver to see how it worked. Whenever he finds a real screw driver he goes and tightens the bolts on his table and chairs. Yes, for real. He has half a book memorised already and we only began reading it to him at bedtime 5 days ago. All of these things should be good, right?

Well yes and no. Yes because he is obviously enjoying exploring his world and no because I am at a loss as how to keep him entertained and challenged. Every day I try to cover something educational; the alphabet, numbers from 1-20, how to tell the time, geometry, animal documentaries, reading books. Sometimes he is interested, sometimes he isn’t. I try to do something crafty every day. He loves to paint, draw, use chalk, colour. He is obsessed with learning to use scissors and glue. It might have something to do with his recent obsession with going to school. Real school. Big school.

So I got ballsy and set up paper mache… What was I thinking? Was I even thinking at all? Obviously my brain got up and walked away on its own two legs. I watered down wood glue and put it in a big tray in front of a toddler. In the middle of my living room. Insanity! Of course he splashed his hands in it. Of course we argued that glue splatters were not a design feature for my couch. Of course he got bored within 5 minutes. Of course I ended up covered in glue (in fact I think I am still malting little dried bits of wood glue even now). To top it off as soon as I hung the balloon to dry it popped and the paper mache is now a crumpled mess hanging from my bathroom ceiling.

*Sigh* Epic Mum Fail. I hope one day I get the hang of this.