Calm presence

Calm and centered is my home. Not my actual home, I live with a toddler. And even before the bundle of joy invaded blessed our home our place was rarely calm. I regularly cooked breakfast for a hoard of hung over youths on a Saturday or Sunday morning. My sister was well-known for saying ‘Rae won’t mind’. And I never did. Back then we were really the only couple in our local group of friends with a place of our own. It was clean, stocked with food and plenty of seating. So we often had people around for dinner, drinks or parties. (I seemed to collect bachelors who preferred our place to their Mum’s). Some friends even used our spare room as a cave to study in when they lived with their folks.

Despite the chaos I have lived amongst for as long as I can remember, I still feel most comfortable in a calm tranquil place. Internal dichotomies anybody? I know my parents reading that line (yes they are regular readers now) will be shooting tea out their noses. Calm wasn’t always my home. I had a penchant for rebellion, drama and general voice raising growing up. Until the drama chewed me up and spat me out. Then I had no choice but to find another way. My coaches/therapists during that time spent a lot of time re-framing that to I chose to find another way. Since then I have chosen to hold space instead of raging.

These days I am volatile – because I am human – but the place I keep returning to, in the moments between, is calm.

I am beginning to realise the biggest gift I can give to my son is my calm presence. I know that a clam presence is one of the biggest actions I can take to help create a peaceful world too. I know from experience that my calm presence makes for smoother relationships, fewer misunderstandings and happier days. These truths will be easy to remember when I am lounging (as you read this) in sunny Cairns on a holiday with my parents (read: 2 more sets of toddler wrangling hands).

It won’t be so easy to maintain my calm or remember how important it is when I am on a 3 hour flight with a 2 year old who just wants to run and scream and jump and explore and introduce himself to each and every passenger. One. By One. “Hello my name is Cooper. What’s your name?’, “Hello my name is Cooper. What’s your name?’, “Hello my name is Cooper. What’s your name?’, “Hello my name is Cooper. What’s your name?’……