Final thoughts
A few weeks back I was searching. I had written in my journal that I was looking for something. In the past when I needed a guide they appeared before I realised how important they were. Now, I am acutely aware of my need for a guide AND the absence of one. So, either my guide is dragging their feet or they aren’t coming. My money is on the fact that I am on my own this time.
*Sigh*
Doing the work has never bothered me. Facing uncomfortable truths, making friends with what terrifies me, learning to love what I judge, this I can do. But do it alone? Do it without a mentor or a process? Help!
I know why I am on my own this time too, part of this leg of my journey is about trusting myself, my inner compass and the resources I have within. Knowing this wouldn’t stop me clinging to a teacher if there was one near by. So the universe stepped in and helped me out; no guides, only guidelines. Guidelines in the most unexpected way.
As I was wrestling with the realisation that my journey henceforth was guided by my heart alone I discovered Bindu Wiles and her stroke of inspiration 21.5.800. At the time I didn’t recognise it for what it was, I made the commitment on the spot thinking it would fill in the gap until I figured out my next step. What I discovered was a direct line to my heart (my guide), a structure and a huge community of like-minded souls to act as inspiration and cheer leaders. I found, in large part, what I had been looking for.
My thoughts on the journey are in their infancy, probably too misty and unformed yet to be coherent. But I have another 10 days to go, so I’ll work on clarifying them. I do know I feel different. I feel clearer. I feel less lost. I feel hopeful. I feel inspired. I feel like something is coming. I feel like the cogs of the universe have begun to turn. I feel relieved. I feel excited. I feel blessed. I feel centered.
4 comments
I am glad you found Bindu too =)
Hello Rachael,
Bravo for realizing that your guide always has been, is, and always will be within you. It is incredibly difficult to trust that sometimes. I am always struggling with that, but when I get quiet the answers seem to come. Sometimes you need to go down the wrong road to get to the right one.
I have learned that the key is that when I feel lost, sometimes it’s best just to sink into that feeling rather than try to fight my way out of it. The answer is often deep within the thing that I’m trying to escape.
You will be fine, I am sure.
Jenny, IT feels good to know I’m not the only one that feels doubt of my inner guide.
As for the practice of sinking into what we want to escape – I couldn’t agree more. My favourite saying is ‘Sometimes the answer is to do nothing and *be* something.’
xxx
“Sometimes the answer is to do nothing and *be* something.”
Thank you for that.