Your heroes are fallible. Be they mythical, fiction or human they are flawed. Despite their flaws you saw something in them worth admiring. Herein lies the lesson. You too are flawed and you too are worth admiring.
One of the greatest influences in my life is just under 4 feet tall. Yet more than once she stared down (up) fully grown men, and won. She buried more boyfriends in the war (WW2) than I care to recall. She dared to date a black man when it was an excommunicable taboo. She raised 4 children and miscarried 2. She buried her husband after watching lung cancer steal his very breath. She did ‘men’s work’ during the week while the men were fighting WW2 and was chastised for wearing pants to church on Sunday.
I love her humility.
Her utter fearlessness.
Her bottomless compassion.
Her selflessness.
Her ability to be stronger than iron in the face of adversity and gentle as a lamb when some needs a soft place to fall.
Only she was diagnosed with advanced Alzheimer Dementia yesterday. Her humility and selflessness have evaporated she is always anxious and even curt. She barely registers the emotions of those around her and is oblivious to the needs of anybody but herself.
The tears streaming down my face now feel like a burning betrayal to the woman she used to be. Who would have told me not to waste my tears over something I can’t change. I am struggling to find the lesson in all of this:
Am I to understand what who we are and what we do is to some extent out of our control?
Am I to understand that there is inherent balance in the universe and we must all be selfless and selfish?
Am I to learn to love this new incarnation of her personality despite it all?
The best I can come up with is that our heros are fallible.
Tags: Challenge, Emotions, Family, Inspiration, Lessons, Love, Personal Growth
Sometimes there is no lesson persay to be learned. Other than the fact that sometimes bad things happen to good people. It doesn\’t make the people bad, it makes the situation bad. And we can dwell in the pain and sadness at the loss of the good, or we can celebrate it and become examples of it in the world.
My hero died when I was about 15 years old from colon cancer. She was the most amazing woman I have ever know. She taught me to love music (she was my piano and voice teacher) and taught me so much about life I probably didn\’t understand at that age. She taught me about the kind of person I want to be. When I started participating in Relay for Life (American Cancer Society fundraiser) three years ago (and over 10 after her death) I finally began to understand these lessons.
It\’s too easy to be sad/angry/hurt…instead you have to work hard to remember the good and learn from it. PS – This is MUCH easier said than done. 10 years mind you.
Continue to be inspired by her (the memory of her as you remember her) and practice that inspiration in your everyday life – that will give honour to who she was and what she has meant to you in your life. A beautiful insight into the loves and inspiration in your life. Look forward to more posts like these x
Elisa wat is it about vocal coaches? Mine taught me about the kind of partner I wanted to be and how to be ok with yourself no matter what.
I agree that is is too easy to get trapped in the sadness and the grief when the chaotic universe serves us, or our loved ones, something we deem unfair. My focus will be to let go of the pedalstool I had her on and to not judge the situation as wrong, bad or unfair. Hopefully this will free me up to learn to love her in all of her intricacies now. Thanks for sharing.
Elle, I considered not posting this at all because I thought it might have been a bit too personal and self serving, and not what others want to read. I’ll take your comments on board and try to trust that if it has meaning for me others will find value in it too. Thanks, rae.