The fallacy of ‘friend’ and ‘enemy’
The words ‘friend’ and ‘enemy’ are very emotive. They rouse such strong emotional responses from us. We think there is a method in our deciding in which category people ‘fit’ into, we think we are clear on what the words mean to us. Nope, sorry, I bet you’re wrong. Allow me to demonstrate.
Call to mind an ‘enemy’. What makes you categorise them that way? Did they hurt you, ignore you, hurt your loved one, do something unscrupulous?
Call to mind a ‘friend’. Think of why you call them ‘friend’. Have they supported you, been kind to you, shared your life with you, advised you well, shown you compassion?
Call to mind someone who fits neither of these categories, someone you are ‘indifferent’ to. Why are you indifferent to them? Have they faded from your life, do they live far away, have you lost touch with them?
Now, just to screw with your mind;
Call to mind your ‘enemy’. Can you recall a time that they were supportive, kind, compassionate or in any other way a ‘friend’ to you?
Call to mind your ‘friend’. Can you recall a time that they hurt or ignored you or a time when they were unscrupulous or in any other way acted as your ‘enemy’?
Call to mind the person to whom you are now indifferent. Can you recall a time when they were either a ‘friend’ or ‘enemy’ to you?
Each of us fall into the category of ‘friend’, ‘enemy’ & ‘indifferent’. Each of us are selfish. Everybody does the best they can with what they have. Every body unintentionally, and intentionally, hurts others. Each of us are capable of life-changing kindness and compassion. Each of us chooses our ‘friends’ and ‘enemies in the same arbitrary nature with which we chose teams in the school yard.
Perhaps if all focused less on the boxes we have put people in we would live in a more compassionate, understanding, kind world. What do you think?
2 comments
Bloody brilliant theory! Love it.
Btw, found you via We Love Comments on 20sb.
Nahl, I can’t take full credit. It is a view I was introduced to by Tantra Yoga, but it reminds me that we indeed choose how we see people.
Thanks for commenting.