Bras
Our bras, ladies say a lot about us. Any male readers already know this. And, no, I don’t mean that a red bra says that you’re sexy and a tan bra means your boring or safe. The print, colour and material of your bras are a personal choice – that’s not what I’m talking about.
Your bra supports your breasts. Yes, thank you captain obvious. Our breasts are, for most women, integral to their sense of femininity. You disagree? Speak to a women who has undergone a mastectomy or women who has had a breast reduction about how the operation has affected their femininity. Our breasts are a sensual, integral part of our womanhood.
Just writing those words I feel the wave of resistance and objections flying at me through the web. But, I honestly believe it is true. I hated my breasts for as long as I can remember. They were always too big, too saggy, too heavy. That was even before I fell pregnant and then they were too sensitive, too sore and downright enormous – no stores would stock bras in my size (Yes my partner was stoked, I on the other hand broke down in tears right there in the store). Breastfeeding is another saga altogether. All I am saying is that I hear your objections, but accepting my breasts feels better.
We are taught that our breasts are only beautiful if they look plastic. We are not taught how to appreciate our breasts. They are soft and warm, regardless of the weather your breasts radiate heat. The skin is some of the softest on our bodies. They are capable of pleasure and adorned with our glamest top and stunning beads they can be hypnotizing – regardless of their size. There is so much to love about our breasts aside from their size and shape, but alas, they are most womens’ hang-ups.
I was buying new bras on the weekend and can vouch that a great bra can boost your self esteem and totally change your figure. But what shocked me were the conversations I was overhearing in the change room. 3 women were being properly fitted by professionals. Each of the women was recommended a bra and a size that would fit them perfectly. Each woman chose a different bra to the recommendations. Why? Because they were planning on losing weight and so preferred to squish their breasts into a too small bra than to have a bra that was too big if and when they lost weight.
Isn’t that insane? To me it’s like saying ‘no’ to a date with the man of your dreams today, because you are planning on snagging the perpetual bachelor George Clooney next month! The likelihood that these women (none of whom looked at all overweight) would ever be truly happy with their weight and body shape is arguably slim. I mean, are you? But still they, and indeed so many of ‘us’, would prefer to continue to strive and punish ourselves trying to fit into an imaginary ideal than to work what we have.
What I am really trying to say: Give up the need for it to be different to what it is. Love what you have got, work what you have got. You will loose it one day and wish you had treated it better and enjoyed it more.
4 comments
I love this post.
I have always quite liked my boobs but never deemed them perfect, along with the rest of the female world. After a health scare last week concerning them, yup, the scariest kind. I have since been given the all clear and am so in love with them I’ll put them in diamond encrusted parachutes or crochet nanna bags if they so desire.
Jo, firstly I’m glad to hear you have been given the all clear. I’d go for the Victoria Secret style diamond encrusted style personally but you may need to share some twitpics of the crochet nanna bags if thats what they want =)
This is such a great post Rae! I am actually not a big fan of my chest, similar to what it sounds like you have experienced I have a rack too large to be contained by most sheathes of material. A big part of it is probably some weight that I could stand to lose (which doesn’t help) but I’ve definitely had that almost in tears moment in the store realizing nothing fits. I’m not even accessible in cute Vicky’s largest sizes.
That being said, I’ve learned that sometimes we don’t have to like EVERYTHING to still like some things. The twins make my shoulders and collarbones and whatnot look that much more athletic and “girlish” by comparison. My curvy figure would be lost without the big curve on top. Do I love my boobs, no. Do I accept that they are a part of me and love the other parts of what I got, heck yeah!
I am totally with you Elisa, the key to a healthy body-image is to grow to love your body and that starts with accepting it then falling in love with the ‘good bits’.