Cast your net wide

Watching a slideshow of Afghanistan explained by a soldier just returned from active duty puts my personal issues in perspective. So did having a hot chocolate at the Sheraton on the Park (with the Connect2Mums crew).

We all have issues. If you breathe and you live, you are bound to have issues. Even his Holiness the Dali Lama has drama to contend with. How we experience drama is subjective.

I am not saying that your issues are insignificant because ‘there is always somebody out there worse off than you’. What I am saying is that the narrower your focus the larger problems will appear.

High school is a great example of this. Our years at high school are characterised by us continually making mountains out of mole hills. A single off-hand comment could quickly turn into friendship groups divided and months of arguments and drama. Our immaturity was partially responsible but so was that fact that the school yard, and its occupants, were our whole world.

A work-a-holic will always experience work related dramas as devastating and dramatic because work swallows most of their attention and focus. A new mother’s day hangs entirely on whether her baby sleeps and eats well. She knows that the world is at war and people are dying of poverty and disease, but the tiny bundle in her arms is her whole world. New lovers can be happy together even if their lives are crumbling around them because the relationship alone is their focus; but when the relationship crumbles they are lost.

My awareness was broadened recently when an old friend stayed with us. He took my focus from local to global reminding me of, and personalizing, the war in Afghanistan. Realising that carrying a weapon just to take your morning jog and laying fellow soldiers to rest is a personal reality for a gentle man my son calls ‘Uncle’ reminded me that it is my personal bias that dictates the size of my problems. How easily we become blinkered by the privilege that is inherent our (read my) life.

You don’t need to know a soldier to put your troubles into perspective. All you need to do is to exercise your inherent compassion. How? Connect with other people on a real level. Get to know the difficulties another is facing – not to compare or even to ‘fix’ them but to empathise with them and witness the journey of another. Don’t restrict yourself only to connecting with people whose journey mirrors your own. Connect with older & younger people in your city and across the globe. This is the true value of online communities and how they enhance our lives.

Cast your net wide. Value diversity. Difference is like sunlight that shines on the facets of your life and makes them shine.

* This post first appeared on http://connect2mums.ning.com

Image credit Larryzou@