In my experience love grows, develops, matures, accepts, embraces & believes. It can blindside you, overwhelm you, surprise you, change you. Love doesn’t judge, blame, hate, attack, defend, suspect, exclude or fear. Love is pure.
We so often mistake our cultural images of a couple ‘in love’ for Love itself. We confuse ourselves believing we can judge and attempt to change the one we love. We expect love and loving behaviour to look a certain way. Some of us even believe old cliches like ‘love is a battlefield’, ‘love is blind’ & love hurts’. Well, it isn’t and it doesn’t.
I don’t know about you but the moments of my life that throb and buzz with real authentic love were certainly not Hollywood glamour image usually recognised as ‘Love’. In my experience love is gritty, uncomfortable, blissful, exhausting, exciting, risky, outrageous, orgasmic and beautiful all at once. I have never managed a moment of real love without tears, sweat or messy hair – but then again maybe I’m doing it wrong.
My moments of real love:
- Crying in the foetal position, as the realisation dawned on me that only I can take care of me
- Naked under the sheets and realising that for the first time I had ‘made love’ as opposed to just having sex
- Getting engaged under a lighthouse, on a cliff, in gale force winds
- Sweaty and exhausted as I breastfed my baby for the first time (minutes after birth)
- Unconfortable conversations kicking my partner’s butt for not prioritising his needs
- Witnessing a girlfriend’s pain, really being there, without dismissing it or trying to cheer her up
- Handing in my letter of resignation, to follow my heart interstate
Love just is. Love is effortless. Love feels good. Love heals old wounds. Love should never be a currency. Love is not a bargaining chip. Love doesn’t take work. Relationships do.
Relationships take work. Keeping the lines of communication open, being honest & vulnerable takes work. Creating space in your relationship for love to flow, unimpeded, isn’t easy. But it’s worth it. Love is the easy part. Relationship. the art of sharing love, is a skill.
*Photo credit Agent FareEvader
Tags: Challenge, Connection, Emotions, Love, Observations, Personal Growth
Yes.
This is such a great post, I’m glad to have found your whole blog in fact. This particular one grabbed me though.
I agree, too many times we let the “idea” of love become greater than the act/feeling/showing of love itself. With the saturation of “ideal love” in our mainstream world we can spend a lifetime waiting for those Hollywood moments or holding everyone at arms length to save ourselves from the pain, but at the end of the day pure love is the greatest thing to be experienced within our little human existence.
As for tears, sweat or messy hair, I think that means you are doing it exactly right!