Perfectionist
I once was a perfectionist. I was raised to believe that I could achieve anything and to never accept ‘good enough’ as good enough. This foundation stood me in great stead at school and later on in my career (until I became a work-a-holic that is). As I recovered from my workaholism I chose to abandon perfectionism in favour of excellence. I maintained the deep seated belief that I can achieve anything and let go of the need to measure myself by the flawlessness of my output.
Or so I had thought.
You see I Know that I have control over very few things; my thoughts, my feelings and my actions. I understand that people are going to think what they are going to think and that what they think about me is none of my business. I have chosen to measure myself by the purity of my intentions, how effortlessly I respond to my world, regardless of how it looks, and how well I grow to know myself.
Yes, I know better. But it didn’t stop me sweating bullets when my website went live last night. My inner critic ran rife.
I am not perfect. I am not yet complete. I am a work in progress. I make mistakes. I have just put myself out there to be seen, judged, critiqued. For some I will come up wanting. My hope is that I might have the opportunity to serve some too.
Lessons: The gap between not knowing and knowing is far smaller than the gap between knowing and doing. Don’t wait for perfection because perfection will never come.
1 comment
Congrats on the new site! Love how it looks and love your post on perfectionism!