Grace under slander
This morning saw the resurrection of my 15 year old self. For those of you who never had the pleasure; she was a brash, fearsome and opinionated. She rarely took a breath and if you found her somewhere other than atop her soap-box you took a photo to preserve the memory.
I was living the illusion that the 15 year old me was safely living in old photo albums and dusty boxes of mementos. So needless to say her appearance this morning took me by surprise. The most shocking part was how simple it was to provoke her. Facebook, bloody Facebook! Trust a social media to ignite the socially awkward, chubby over achiever in me.
The rousing of the dead went like this: I awoke and, as usual, checked my Facebook, Gmail and Twitter. But this morning my face flushed, my stomach turned to lead; genuine teenage angst flooded my veins. The comment spoke to the deepest fears of my youthful self. A single petty comment from someone I haven’t spoken to in a decade took the bounce from my step and replaced it with the dragging feet of impending embarrassment.
The 15 year old in me wanted to respond with an equally below the belt wall-to-wall comment laden with spite and malice. The more compassionate 21 year old in me voted for Direct Messaging the person and asking what insecurity inspired such pettiness. It took me a deep breath and a minute or so for my current incarnation to take centre stage. When she did I got clear. My lessons:
- The world is getting smaller, our networks are getting bigger and off-hand comments now reach more than the 2 or 3 girlfriends they used to; they reach the world, they are recorded on the web forever.
- Not everyone will like me, not everybody should like me. If everybody likes me I am not living my truth, because personal truth lived with passion is bound to rub someone the wrong way.
- Most of all it’s none of my business what other people think of me.
So my eventual reaction once my 15 and 21 year old selves were safely back in their boxes? The graceful path; I did nothing. Other than this blog.
Please note: I wrote this blog months ago and held it back, for obvious reasons.
