About Feedback

You are your own worst critic.

For most everybody I know this cliché holds true. We hone in on the slightest flaw, in something otherwise exceptional, and blow it totally out of proportion. Some of us, I know I have been guilty of this, imagine potential feedback to be something totally horrifying that would support our belief that we are crap.

Why then are so many of us terrified of feedback? Could honest feedback possibly any worse that the tirade of abusive thoughts you have about yourself? Those around us are infinitely more compassionate and reasonable than we are when evaluating our performance. While we obsess that we sound too pushy, look too dressy, make no sense, generally aren’t good enough those around us are oblivious to our torturous thoughts. They usually are too busy wrestling with their own inner critic to give you a second thought.

Most of us think of surveys, KPI meetings, arguments and “does my bum look big in this?” when we think of feedback but it doesn’t have to be this way. Asking for real meaningful feedback and being prepared to listen to the answers is a liberating experience. Just this week I elicited feedback from close friends about some business plans and a client about my coaching sessions. I sweated blood waiting for their responses and literally danced a happy dance around the living room when the responses came back.

I want you to do a happy dance too. Here are some simple ways of recalibrating your inner critic and getting real feedback:

1. Asking girlfriends to take a look at your resume
2. Asking your partner/best friend to tell you which outfit they think flatters you most
3. Ask a client for a testimonial
4. Ask a colleague what you do best
5. Ask your boss what skill you could develop to position you for a promotion
6. Ask a friend how they would describe you in 3 words (I guarantee you they wont say Failure, Loser, Worthless or big-fat-loser)

1 comment

1. 

   LexyB

   Posted on April 3, 2009

   So true …