Big Yellow Taxi
After a (minor) melt down Saturday morning (There is only so much of a teething baby one I can take without a break) my loving and supportive partner took the darling little bundle on some errands while I went for a coffee.
I chose a quiet corner of Gloria Jeans and let up my laptop, note pad and coffee. Not 5 minutes later 4 girls arrived and sat across from me. All of a sudden the corner was not so quiet. For the most part I ignored them and got on with my work. An hour and a half later, when my concentration was waning and they were loudly singing to “Big Yellow Taxi”, I surrendered and began to observe them.
They piqued my attention because I sang that song, the original version which I am sure they don’t know exists, when I was around their age. Looking at them they are strikingly similar to my teenage friendship group; loud, obnoxious, all front, terribly insecure and they feel totally adult.
Surprisingly I find these girls very comforting; they are living reminders of how far I’ve come in the past decade. On the other hand the scene saddens me a little.
Their outfits were carefully constructed to appear casual, their make-up applied to look natural, their laughter was forced & fake, the bravado false, they never really made eye contact, even with each other, & the body language was defensive and fidgety even amognst the obviously familiar company. Is this just indicative of the experience of a teenager or are our young girls trying to embody what they are inherently not ready for? Womanhood.
I discussed the experience with a close girlfriend of mine (we will call her Elle) on the weekend and she had a similar reaction. We both acutely remember the insecurity, inadequacy, the feeling of not quite fitting in with even your best friends & thinking that you are the only one who feels that way. Both Elle and I remember not having any clear role-models and the scarcity of information to help us navigate our own inner landscape.
So is the mix of comfort and sadness I feel just a product of my inner dichotomies or is it a reflection of something deeper? I’m not sure. Part of me (my dichotomies again) thinks that if we have outstanding role models for young girls and a medium for girls to access them, then the teenage journey may be less daunting. On the other hand perhaps the awkwardness of our youth has made us the women we are today.
Maybe I am only remembering the less than fun parts of my teenage years and forgetting all the fun I had.
Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” – Big Yellow Taxi
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2 comments
I actually find that scenario a bit sad. But then again I grew up mostly in the country on a farm and so my experiences differed greatly and going to a coffee shop (or any shop!) with girlfriends was a rare treat and not done without parental supervision! I do agree though that children grow up way too fast, especially in today’s society where even ‘tweens’ try to act like adults. I wish they could just enjoy their childhood as they will miss the carefree life when its no longer there.
Annette I too mourn the seeming loss of the current generation’s childhood. Unfortunately it is a trend I think will continue; its hard to remain carefree when our children witness live images of war, poverty and violence every day.